Hippotherapy

how can you combine therapeutic riding with physical therapy? ok what i really want to do is therapeutic riding(horses,) but the field itself is not guaranteed to make that much money. how can i combine it with physical therapy so i can get the best of both worlds?

Where can I find reliable research and information about therapeutic horseback riding and its benefits? therapeutic riding & benefits

how do you become a therapeutic riding instructor? do you need any kind of college or special training? also what kind of pay do you get for it?

Volunteering at a therapeutic riding stable in PA? i want to volunteer at one of these stables for my required hours of comnmunity service for school. does anyone know places close to central pa? wow! when i searched on the internet i couldnt find anything. thanks so much!

Does anybody know anything about therapeutic riding? I'm writing a book using therapeutic riding, and I was wondering where I can find more info about therapeutic riding and the type of horse breeds they use and how therapeutic riding helps out children and adults. I know it helps them with balance, but that's about it. I know that one breed they use is called a Haflinger, but that's really all I know! Thanks!

Has anyone participated in or volunteered for therapeutic horse riding? If so, what were you experiences? Did you enjoy it? Feel accomplished? Favorite stories would be great. I have been working at a riding center for almost a year now and I was wondering if there was a community of people out there that actually did it. If so I would love to hear from you.

where is there a therapeutic riding program near or in Fort Mill? I need a place where a girl scout troop can go to volunteer. Please help!

Therapeutic Riding and Horse Rescue? Hi I was wondering if anybody had any information on how to start either of these (horse rescue or therapeutic riding) . My friend and I are getting certified for therapeutic riding and I was wondering if anybody could give us some tips. Does anybody think that these programs are good to have... Does anybody know of any grants there are available for these types of organizations?

Does anyone know of any colleges that offer courses for someone that wants to be a therapeutic riding major ?

Where are there therapeutic riding programs that a 13 yol could do near Ocala, FL.? What I mean when I say near Ocala in anywhere in Sumter County Marion County or Pasco County!!!!!!!!!

has anyone used therapeutic riding for their autistic child?

therapeutic riding lesson plan? I am trying to find an example of a therapeutic riding lesson plan and cannot find anything online. I cannot get help from a center as I am living outside the US right now. I tried the NAHRA but you have to be a member to access info. Anyone can help? I would appreciate it! I am doing an online course on general therapeutic riding and need to present a lesson plan. Could be for adults or children with physical or mental disabilities. It is not precise. I don't have an example to help me. I don't want to copy just have an idea of what a lesson plan would look like in writing as my online course doesn't provide me with that info. Thanks.

I want to open a therapeutic riding center when I get older? Hi, I am only 13 years old, but I am planning on opening a therapeutic riding center for mentally and physically disbaled children when I get older. Can anyone tell me what classes I should take in highschool, what courses in collage would help, what colage to go to, and how much a therapeutic riding center cost. Any other information would be great as well! I know I'm young, but I have had this dream for years, and I like to be ready for the future. Thanks to everyone who answers! oh, by the way, I've been riding horses since I was 6, and now I own a horse so I know how to take care of a horse, and how to ride, and I have alot of experience around horses. Also, do I need any special degrees for this? Thanks!!!!

Salary for Therapeutic Horseback Riding Instructors? I am interested in taking an instructors course for Therapeutic Horseback Riding in Pennsylvania and I wanted to know about how much a year I could expect in this new career?

what horse breed is most common in therapeutic riding programs?

Hippotherapy camps or Therapeutic Riding camps (2+ weeks) for children in England or Scotland? + Must be affiliated with the International Association for Handicapped Riding or similar +Must accept children ages 5+

why is a good horseback riding instructor so hard to find? i recently had a terrible experience with a woman who was mean and degrading and haven't been able to find a new instructor. i volunteered at a therapeutic riding facility but i really want to get back into lessons. i am in graduate school and i want to get a horse of my own when i can afford it. what can i do in the meantime, and does anyone have advice for finding a decent instructor/human being to learn from?

Training a pony for Therapeutic Riding? I work at a therapeutic and recreational barn, and we've been working with a pony to become a good therapy pony. However, we've only been able to do ground work with him, since none of the experienced riders are small enough to ride him. He is really good when being led and tolerates a lot of annoying stuff being done to him. He pins his ears occasionally, but he never kicks or bites. We just don't know if he'll take off if we put a kid on him who doesn't need a leader on other animals. He is broke, but he was used in Jumpers, so he thinks that faster is better. To work with him, we've longed him to burn off a little of his energy, play with his ears and hooves, crowd around him, tug his tail, lean on him weird, and all sorts of other stuff that's scary to a little pony. Any tips on making him usable off the lead? It's not practical to keep him on the lead forever, since he's only 7 years old, but we don't think we're going to get an experienced rider soon to work with him.

Whats "Therapeutic" Horse riding? I heard its horse back riding for the disabled, then i hear its for therapy?? idk..

Can I borrow land from the government to help Society? Someone told me that the government offers land at not cost to non-profit organizations who help Society. I am planning on opening a therapeutic riding center for children with physical/mental disabilities and presently do not have the money to buy land. Thank you!

Anyone know if you can use Spelt hay for horses or pregnant horses? A friend of the family's has acres of Spelt Hay for sale. She is willing to sell it to our therapy center for a few dollars a bale, but most of our mares are pregnant and no one seems to know if Spelt hay is okay for horses. With the price of hay sky-rocketing here if Virginia, it would be nice to get a couple of hundred bales. However, if the hay is possibly lethal to the unborn fetus, then it's a no brainer. I hope you all can help. Linda CannonRidge Therapeutic Riding Center

Do you think I should have a horse? Ok heres the deal. My dad won't get me a horse because he thinks Ill grow out of the "horse stage". I am 14 years old and I work at a resturaunt. I take riding lessons once a week. I used to help out at a therapeutic riding stable. I would take care of the horses(feeding,grooming, tacking up, exc....). I am a A student in school and have never failed before. I really want a horse but do you think I should? Please be honest. P,S My parents have the money but they just think Ill grow out of it. They said maybe next year if I still love horses:) A little positive. I also plane to go to a college with a stable nearby.(sorta picked one out already) P.S.S Im sorta the girl that is always left out. Not many friends to keep me in the way of owning one. I dont even care to go shopping! Every girls life.

PLEASE HELP!! Does anybody know a websites where I can find statistics on anything? I'm doing a project on therapeutic horseback riding, and I have to have some graphs and charts. The only problem is that I can't find any statistics on ANYTHING related to therapeutic horseback riding. Can you help?

I need fundraising IDEAS? i really need help with fundrasing for a organization that iam volunteering for called angels on horse back therapeutic riding school. iam doing this big senior project for school were i have to have a product part that i present what ive done so i was thinking of doing a fundraiser and showing them how ive helped the organization out. at first i was going to do a rock a thon but come to find out its too pricey to do were i would have to get a hall donated, chairs, food and all of that. then i thought of a dance athon with games, but iam still thinking of that one because i would still have to get the hall donated, the dj or radio station and food. so anyone with ideas HELP please something that will raise a good amount of money too cant use school gym for a dance athon because the school said i would have to pay the cops for there time and i would have to pay coustodiens because you have to have both

help purchasing a horse? I bought a horse from my old riding school. I love her to pieces and I am ready to get another. I want to check the same place he got ther from but he refuses to give out that info. Any ideas? His name is Rex Beasaw lll of First Impression Farm (he also does therapeutic riding under the business name Rexford Center for Therapeutic Riding) in Lenox MI

learning to lunge? i'm going down to VA for 2 weeks (from NJ) to stay with my parents' friend... she has a horse and runs a therapeutic riding program so i asked her if she could show me how to lunge... since her horse hasn't been taught how to lunge yet we will be teaching him, and since i only have two weeks i wanted some information on what to expect and any tips you have

I started late? Im 14 years old and im going to start taking riding lessons (jumper) this summer. I've worked around horses for a while (volunteering at a therapeutic riding stable) but ive never really taken lessons.. i know how to trot and canter but that's it! I really want to start showing... any tips to help me catch up over the summer?

seizures?? how do you recognize a seizure? how do you recognize a small seizure vs. a very intense one? i'll be working at a therapeutic riding center and some of the kids have seizures... they said that they ride through small ones but more intense ones are treated with an emergency dismount... so it would be helpful to get more information about seizures richard - its THERAPEUTIC riding... they are kids with downsyndrome, autism, epilepsy, and many other disorders... instructors are trained by NARHA and volunteers are trained as well in keeping the riders safe if you don't know what therapeutic riding is... well... it usually involves someone leading the horse and two people in each side helping the rider support himself

Sponsors needed! Horse rescue.? I am rescuing a horse from auction, rehabilitating, training, and then donating it ( probably to a therapeutic riding center). I cannot afford this on my own. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to sponsor or donate to help with the costs of rehab and board, or if you know anyone that would be interested in helping? Thank you! I already own a horse thank you . I am 17 have a job and pay for everything for my horse. I am not asking for someone to pay for everything but i cannot afford 2 horses. I am not keeping the horse either. I am giving it away in 2 years to a therapeutic riding center i volunteer at.

How to stop a horse without pulling the reins? I work at a therapeutic riding facility and the lady who owns the place is teaching me how to ride horses so that I can get even more involved in the program. She says that when I stop a horse (when I'm riding), I should stick my tummy out and dig my rear end into the horses back and it should stop. Usually, I do that, then pull back on the reins, but the horse just keeps walking. I'm really new to horseback riding and I was wondering if there is anything else I can do to make her stop. She is a very nice horse and is used to people riding her, but she can tell that I'm new to the thing and kinda takes advantage of that... So, how can I make her stop? Does anyone know how to correctly do the "pushed out tummy and pushed down rear end" thing? Please help me! I really want to know more about this stuff! Thanks!!!

What level rider do you think I am? Okay, I know this is hard to do without seeing me ride, but here it goes: I have been riding for 51/2 years. I am an english rider I can w/t/c comfortably, no leg issues. I can jumpe 2.5 ft. + comfortably, no issues I exercise horses at barns sometimes. I don't show, but my trainer used to train with George Morris. Every person I ride in front of says I have a beautiful seat and that I stick to the saddle. I know someone else asked this question but I want to know, too!!! For the horsemanship part, I volunteer at various stables, even Therapeutic Riding Centers, I help little kids tack up at the barn, I feed horses, I know my safety, etc. Thanks in advance!!! Sorry I don't have a video. My friend has it because she's watching it to get tips on how to be a better rider. My instructor suggested it so her dad filmed me.

Any good equestrian colleges out there? I'm a high school junior trying to find a good college with a good equestrian program somewhere near Maryland. I ride and show both English and Western, and have been looking at colleges and am leaning towards Centenary College in Hackettstown, NJ, but I'd like something a little closer if at all possible. The major that I really want is Riding Instruction and Training, but I'd really love it if there were more available majors too, like Therapeutic Riding and/or Equine Business/ Facility Management. Any help is really, really appreciated!

horse trainer...? More then anything I want to be a trainer/instructor/barn owner/manager... I’ve basically decided that this is what I want to do with my life... but I want to start working towards it now! I am planning on going to school for equine science, and when I turn 18 I’m going to work for my instructors license (can't start until I’m 18) but I’m only a freshman in high school now (I look and act more mature then my age) I can already train green broke horses to 1st level dressage, so that parts good, I also manage my barn on Sundays, and can do that easily... so that’s good, but how can I work towards being an instructor? I volunteer at a therapeutic riding facility... and the child I work with doesn’t have any problems... so I’m basically her trainer (she’s in a big group lesson with more disabled kids) I also help one of my friends ride her horse on Sundays... and she has made HUGE improvement in the month I’ve been helping her... But what else can I do? I really enjoy seeing the imp i plan on getting a double major, buisness and equine science, i take 1 hour lessons every week, but my trainer doesn't teach many other people (we have a 20 stall barn, only 5 people take lessons from her /= should i ask my trainer about helping her? Or should i try to get my own students? I know a few people who would be willing and i would be able to use my horse for them... but how should i go about asking/telling my trainer?

What should happen to bike thieves? Hey guys. Just got my bike stolen. Nice ride, too. Now I'm a pedestrian again. Now I'd like to believe it was stolen by another bike lover who'll enjoy it and all the additions I've put into it, but I know it's probably some low-life who'll sell it for $40 to buy some drugs. Sorry if I sound bitter. Just bear with me. It's therapeutic. What should happen to these people in your opinion? Feel free to be graphic.

HELP: Problem getting a paralyzed woman in the saddle!? This woman has ridden since she was six up until sixteen years ago when a non-horse related accident left her paralyzed from the chest down (paraplegic). She wants to ride again. but, alas, there are a few problems. One, she wants to ride without somebody telling her what to do (so therapeutic centers are out of the question). Two, we need to make two designs, one Western, one English, to keep her secure in the saddle. She has good balance down to the waist, thanks to her riding for many years, but I need a strategy to keep her legs and feet secure. I realize that there is no reason to do this for aiding the horse since she can't move her legs, but in the event she was riding and her leg got caught in sometihng, the results would not be pretty. Any suggestions?

What would be a good title? I'm writing a book using therapeutic horseback riding. The farm is called The Caserno Farms. (That's the owner's last name.) When they become in debt, they need to sell all the horses and the farm. The daughter, Annie, is going to try and save the farm. What do you think the scheme should be and what should be the title? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

molestation....hopefully admitting the past will be therapeutic.? This is the first time I have ever admitted to anyone about my past , but It has been bothering me lately.so here It goes...I was molested by my cousin when I was little , he doesnt think I remember but I do. Then there was my neighbor guy who kept rubbing against me during a game of hide and go seek . then the man who would give free motorcycle rides to the kids in the neighborhood... he reached behind me and squeezed my private part. I have kept this inside for a long time and now that I am grown , it is haunting me. Cause I now have children. these incidents are stuck in my brain and wont go away. I just needed to let this out !!! these may not be as bad as some other peoples experiences but these are mine and my body was violated. My mother was molested when she was little and she said that that is why she kept a close eye on us. but i never told her that she failed at that. it was not her fault and i dont want to burrden her with this....should I tell her?

Can you help me? I'm writing a book that has something to do with therapeutic horseback riding. What does it help mentally challenged children and adults to do besides balance? Do you know where I can learn more? I also need to know breeds of horses they use... Thanks so much! I have a fact book of horse breeds, and they of course tell what they're good for, and on one pony (not horse) which was the Haflinger, said it could be used for therapeutic riding.

Is my grammar ok?...? Horses are trained and ridden for practical working purposes such as in police work or for controlling herd animals on a ranch. They are also used in competitive sports such as dressage, endurance racing, polo, horse racing, rodeo and many other things. Horses are ridden for therapeutic purposes, too. They can improve human health and emotional development. Horses carried humans before approximately 5000 years. The earliest archeological evidence of horses being ridden was in the military as a chariot and warfare. I ask this, because I'm German... I'll have to talk about Horse riding (Equestrianism)... Thanks... When I have got errors... (or what ever...) please correcting me... pink_eye ^^ We are going to talking about Equestrianism. Equestrianism refers to the skill of riding or driving horses. This broad description includes both uses of horses. This is the first that I will say... And my friend. So I talk about this... but my friend?... About which topic she can talk?

I know it is long but can you proofread this for me? Take a look at how far you’ve come! You are a senior now: tall man on the totem pole, Troy High aficionado, and three years older, wiser, and stronger then you could have ever imagined. That first day of freshman year was tough, between the hordes of people, dysfunctional lockers, and fifty ton backpacks, high school was looking pretty dim; but you made it through, and now it is time to see how far you’ve come. 4:30 A.M. the blurry, chiming alarm clock read as I automatically reached over to smack the snooze button. If only I could have just five more minutes, I silently plead. But no, this was my first day of high school, and I was determined to get off on the right foot. As I sat up in bed, in my sleep deprived stupor, every last rumor my friends had been taunting me with during the summer flooded my mind: You will have NO social life. Oh my God you are going to Troy? Have fun staying up until two! The anxiety I had kept at bay for two months came rushing back to me. Maybe I am stupid! I should have gone to Ayala! Is it too late? Of course I knew: it was too late, the decision was made, Troy was my future and there was nothing I could do about it. Still bleary from an almost sleepless night, I stumbled into the car after a rushed breakfast and nerve racking beauty regimen, (I had to look my best!) headlights blinding me in the dark of morning. After 30 minutes of listening to my heart beat a tattoo against the inside of my ribcage, I arrived at school, 1 ½ inch binder in hand. Looking up in awe, I realized that it looked a lot different through the eyes of a true-blue first-day-of-school freshman. I was familiar enough with the campus from freshman orientation to get my bearings and head toward the ROTC room where, thankfully, I found many Canyon Hills Junior High Alumni. Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors alike greeted me with a warm smile and a wave giving me a false sense of security that maybe, just maybe, freshmen hazing was a thing of the past. As I went through out my day, from 0 period English to 6th period NJROTC (Sir yes, Sir!) I realized that high school was going to go far beyond my wildest expectations. When I first walked into each of my classes, intimidation struck me like a dull blade. People, teachers, classrooms and curriculum I didn’t know! The students! Were some of them older than me? Then what were they doing in my class? And those teachers! Sure they put on a nice front, but what about when they show there true colors? Mrs. Ngo showed her true colors right of the bat! Her crazy, quirky personality shone out of every orifice; and her unorthodox teaching methods really sound like a unique way to exact act my undiscovered potential. At last, 3rd period, the long awaited rally! As an integral part of every high school, I wanted to see what all of the hype was about. As soon as I took my first step into the North Gym, I knew. Freshman vs. Wild. Freshman vs. Seniors. And yes, my biggest fear, HAZING! The seniors booed, the dance team danced, and the band played as the first rally of the year continued on in all of its Warrior glory. Throughout the rest of the day I once again navigated the hallways, and glanced repeatedly down at my bubblegum pink map wondering where the heck the science building was and why my locker had to be conveniently located in the NJROTC room. So after a stressful day, I was looking forward to the best part- the end. As that final bell rung, I knew I could finally say that I was an authentic troy High student! After an hour long, sweaty, bouncy bus ride home, I stripped down to my bathing suit a jumped into the crystal clear pool; the cool water a therapeutic relief on my achy, burning, body. While swimming laps and letting off steam, my mom and I gabbed about my first hectic day of high school: the classes, teachers, people, campus and every other minute detail that I could recollect. With my small amount of homework finished, and my syllabi signed, I drifted off to a peaceful sleep reassured that I had made the right decision after all. So Hayley, what do you think? How much have you changed? Are you a different person with different values and ethics? Whatever cliché you belong to or clothes you wear, I hope your dreams came true. To have fun, get A’s, make friends, and most importantly, BE YOURSELF.

I want to train horses!!!? I have been contacting trainers to see if any are accepting apprentices, without much luck. I finally found one who is, and I need to write up a resume. I have written resumes before, but never for something like this (and never for something this important to me). What should the resume contain. To be honest I'm 22 and my experience with horses isn't that extensive. My parents bought a mustang when I was younger, but we had to get rid of her due to a move. In high school I volunteered in a therapeutic horsemanship program, but we had little to do with the horses other than leading them around. I moved back home and for the past few months I've spent a lot of time with my parents horses. (feeding, riding, and some groundwork) and I've come to realize that this is something I really enjoy and would like to turn it into a career. The only training experience I have is from watching RFD and Clinton Anderson's Gaining respect and control on the ground 1,2, & 3, and Riding with confidence 1, 2, & 3. It seems like a lot of trainers want apprentices that have been around horses all their lives, are already trainers, and have shown horses. Can this be worked around or did I strike out. Thanks for taking the time to read this, any help is very appreciated.

Half Pads? Are half pads and therapeutic pads the same things when it comes to riding? I want to get a baby pad and a half pad to ride with to keep my horse cooler and carry a little less weight. Thanks for your input!

i need an exercise regime for a 19year old mare with arthritis is back hocks? she has no bute and danolin twice a day as well as a joint supplement and super solvitax daily.when i bought her she had not been ridden for two years and was sound.within a week she was lame and after having xrays done was diagnosed with arthritis in hock.the medicine regime is from the vet,but i want to bring her back into work slowly but am unsure of the best way to do this without overdoing it!!she has lost weight,she was very large when i got her and i am also wondering about therapeutic shoeing,she is bare foot at the moment and my vet thinks she 'may'benefit from having elevated heels,but he didnt sound too sure.has anyone got any ideas???

my horse has hock arthritis. should i sell her? any exercises to help? my thoroughbred mare has been limping the past two weeks. i called the vet and she came out and said she has hock arthritis and the bones needs to fuse. i really wish to compete in english showing or dressage. my vet was unsure if she would be able to do that. how long does fusing usually take? my vet told me to keep riding her. i dont know if i should sell her or not. i no she could be a great broodmare and produce lovely babies. while i am debating on selling her, is there any therapeutic exercises that would help keep her comfortable and begin the fusing process??? she is only 11 yrs old and she is my first horse. i would hate to sell her but i also can not afford to give her special medicine constantly. HELP

Short Romance & Marriage Jokes 2? THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, it's my Mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I was married 3 times," explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first two wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my third wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame," said his friend. "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "Have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob's greatest achievement was his brood of six children. In fact, he was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife "Mother of Six", despite her continual objections. One night at a cocktail party, Bob decided it was time to go home and shouted across the room, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His irritated wife hollered back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ad seen in paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." "But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! You're not going to cut it off, are you???" The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. She asks, "What's this for?" "This is for your headache," he says. She says, "But I don't have a headache." He smiles and says, "Gotcha!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females." "How could you tell them apart, Joe?" asked Charlie. Joe replied, "That was easy. The 3 males were sitting on a case of beer and the 2 females were on the phone." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "That guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon. A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. A puppy quickly matures into a dog; a mongrel pup develops into a cur. Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Roger was fed up with his wife, so he packed up his stuff and moved into the garage. Although he couple seldom spoke, he continued to mow the lawn, take out the garbage and fix the car, while she cooked the meals, vacuumed and did the laundry. Months later, Roger met his friend Don for drinks. "Things don't seem to be working out any better," Don remarked. "Why don't you just move out?" "Well, if you really want to know the truth," Roger explained, "she makes such a damn good neighbor." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rex's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." ---------------------------------------- A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. ------------------------------------------ First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet, "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Wife: "In the pool." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Overheard: "Has your husband lived up to all the things he said before you were married?" "No, He's only lived up to one of them." "Which one was that?" "He said he wasn't good enough for me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can hold down a full time job, prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she laughed to herself and said, "I don't freaking think so!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" He promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple comes upon a wishing well. The wife leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The husband decides to make a wish, too. But he leans over too much, falls into the well and drowns. Stunned, the wife smiles broadly and exclaims, "It really works!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and if we don't do laundry right now, you'll have no clothes to wear." What a Man hears: blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady sought out a fortune teller. The fortune teller tells her, "Be prepared for widowhood. Your husband will soon die a violent death." The lady asked, " Will I be acquitted?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four." Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the state lottery!" Martha replies, "Should I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man says, "I don't care. Just as long as you're out of the house by noon." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While at the fairgrounds, a woman wanted to take a ride on the Ferris wheel before heading home. Her husband waited while she took a spin. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the woman was thrown out. She landed in a heap at her husband's feet. He gasped and bent down. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are playing golf when a funeral procession passes by on the street next to the green. One of the men takes off his hat and holds it over his heart. When the procession has passed, the other man says, "That was a nice gesture." "Well," the first guy says, "After twenty years of marriage, it was the least I could do for her." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they except that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants and see if you can get disability!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two women were talking, when one said to the other: "Do you ever talk to your husband when you're making love?" "Yeah," replied the second, "But only when he telephones!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath, and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in a six o'clock in the morning!" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to," replied the husband, "But I don't know her well enough." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Help Purchasing a horse? I bought a horse from my old riding school. I love her to pieces and I am ready to get another. I want to check the same place he got ther from but he refuses to give out that info. Any ideas? His name is Rex Beasaw lll of First Impression Farm (he also does therapeutic riding under the business name Rexford Center for Therapeutic Riding) in Lenox MI

Horsey people-Shetland ponies? (I live in Australia, I’m 15)I'm moving into a new house, which is a shared property, the whole property is about 5 aches and they are two little Shetland ponies (they are so cute!!=D) in one paddock (I’m not very good with measurements, so I’m just guessing..) which is probably one acre. The paddock is really dry and there isn't much grass at all, mostly weeds and manure,anyways one the ponies hoofs are quite unkept, they are a bit over grown, not really bad I’ve seen a lot worse, but would his hoofs be bothering them? Is there anyway to inprove their paddock's grass without using to much water or money?And what could I suggest/hint to the people that own them? Also, I do intend on scooping up the manure(with a shovel and wheelbarrow), this may sound weird but I find it quite therapeutic,anyways I have leased a horse for a year before and stuff so I know the general idea of how to handle them, and myself when I’m around them, but yeah any tips(I don't intend on riding the ponies)?

Help purchasing a horse? I bought a horse from my old riding school. I love her to pieces and I am ready to get another. I want to check the same place he got ther from but he refuses to give out that info. Any ideas? His name is Rex Beasaw lll of First Impression Farm (he also does therapeutic riding under the business name Rexford Center for Therapeutic Riding) in Lenox MI

WELCOME.......To my world? Where everything is free....Here is a list >>> (FOOD) All you can eat, or catch in my fish pond. (filled daily) Or pick in my vegetable garden or off my hundreds of fruit trees. (SLEEP) All the sleep you want, with who ever you want. (with breakfast, lunch and dinner served directly to you and with a smile :) (MASSAGE) For all your therapeutic needs.(by a beautiful male or female) (SWIM) Take a dive into my "HEART SHAPED" swimming pool filled with club soda and pedals of lavendar and lilac floating all around. (LAKE) Filled with fresh mountain spring water (no fish) just crystal clear water. (SPA) Filled with rich hot baby oil that will make your body just tingle all over. (FUN) You name it! We have it! It's all yours! (ADVENTURE) Ride a bike, or "RIDE A BIKE" (harley, honda goldwing, etc.) Limo's at your service, anywhere you want to go. Vehicles (your choice) (INTERTAINMENT) You name it we have it, from "A to Z"! SO........Who want's to visit....."MY WORLD"?

Extra Curricular Activities? I want to do some sort of extra-ciricular activities in the comming year/summer outside of ones offered at school. I really am into horses and I volenteer at a therapeutic riding place, and I horse back ride (English). In school I am in Key Club, and next year I am thinking about tring out for marching band and/or track. I have a really tight schedual with all my activities, and not much time for other stuff. Is there anything I can do that looks good for collage but does not take up too much time. I have lots of time in the summer, so any just summer activites would be perfect too! Thanks!!